Saturday, May 9th, 2009 may begin just like any other day, but the hours that spill following sunrise will be retold for generations. The Coca-Cola Scramble at Sun Valley will witness two of the most formidable and electrifying scramble teams ever assembled on wide wide Dixie Highway. This town ain't big enough for the both of them, but the drama will be mammoth.
The first team is anchored by the father-son combo of Mark & Matt Wagner. This golf duo stooped to recruiting talent outside the United States. In a deal tenuously struck with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, the Wagners acquired two of Pyongyang's biggest stars- Joo-Lee and Jit - in exchange for a collection of Warner Bros. cartoon DVD's. When asked if the language barrier may cause problems among the team, Wag senior snarled, "ya ain't got to speak no English to whoop some Tabler a**!"
When reporters asked Joo-Lee her reaction to playing in this tournament for the first time, she commented, "Coka-Cora ...been...very good... to me because... supreme leader say so very good."
The Don of the Tabler family, Bob "Steel Joints" Tabler, doesn't understand his family's sketchy reputation among those in the field. The Tabler's intimidation techniques are well known on the links, but the Don insists he raised his children to be respectful and upstanding members of the community. "I manage my boys with a firm and nurturing hand just like any loving father. They're good fellas."
His eldest son, Mark "Deep Freezer" Tabler, seems to have the raw ability, if not the refined skills of the "family business." Kevin " Hook n' Slice" Tabler works the ball around the course like a marionette. And Brian "Anchors" Tabler, the heavy weight of the team, has the experience and skill to drown the competition.
The golf committee may be wise to keep these teams separated on opposite sides of the course, but the TV ratings beg for a Team A-B match-up. With the Tabler team throwing daggers and the Wagner-Lee team launching missiles, the morning of May 9th will be a red dawn.
2 comments:
We'll take'm down like Bob Barker took down Happy Gilmore!
I can't imagine that ESPN won't cover this match. They'll surely be there.
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